letter to “wellness” people

So at my work we get a “wellness” email every once in a while. Today’s featured a report on “Two-Day Diets: How Mini Fasts Can Help Maximize Weight Loss.”

It bugged me, but I sat on the feeling. Then elsewhere on the internet I saw someone mention that a diet book had convinced her mom to basically not eat 2 days per week. That made the bugged feeling a lot worse, and it broke open into the following response. It felt good to write it.


As a (deleted employer because search engines) employee I am concerned that the BeWell email is being used to promote diets in general, and restrictive diets in particular.

In our society, the pathologizing of “obesity” (which, for some, is simply body diversity) has led to a climate of abuse and hostility towards fat people, and fat women especially. I appreciate resources that support and promote an overall healthful attitude, which should include respecting the myriad ways there are of being healthy, and which *must* include “in a larger body.”

I feel it’s irresponsible to blanket email a “suggestion” that basically promotes disordered eating. Even promoting a “diet” is problematic, considering that about 90% of diets fail. This, to me, is the opposite of wellness. BeWell could take into account the complex intersections in how we approach both food and fat people in society, and could promote a “Health at Every Size” approach that would break the fixation we have on a number (weight) and bring our focus back to wellness. The importance of wellness for all people regardless of weight or physical ability should be the driving ethic behind these blanket emails, and I strongly believe it should not include diet rhetoric.

The so-called “weight loss” industry is a multi-billion dollar business that expands its paying customer base every year by promoting a product that has been shown to fail, overwhelmingly. If my health care provider suggested a treatment that was known to fail 90% of the time, I’d get a second opinion!

Please use this platform thoughtfully and wisely. Please be aware that we’re already bombarded every day with the lie that only by losing weight can we be healthy. Please note that even sending an email that seems to be promoting a diet where one severely restricts food nearly 25% of the time can trigger a very unhealthy response in people with a history of eating disorders, let alone anyone who struggles with disordered eating every day.

Below is a link the Health at Every Size website.


Thank you for your consideration,

Logging the web, Thursday a.m. 8/8

Here’s the stuff I looked at this morning.

One time I was successful in managing negative feelings. I did it by imagining my…I don’t know, self, or something, as a multipetaled flower, the petals of which are each of the possible potential emotional responses or feelings that could arise in any situation. For example, a thing happens, and it happens to land on the “irritation” petal. But the secret is, the flower is slowly spinning. So the next petal for something to land on might be joy. The flower is always spinning, the stuff is always happening. My feelings are temporary. I just need to watch as the petal reacts how that petal reacts…..and then the feeling and the petal move on. Good to remember.

I’m not sure of the age range being considered as “seniors” in this polling, but my mom is going to be 68 this year and she’s an early boomer who has embraced counter-cultural ideas her entire life. I would be surprised if we don’t see some political and/or philosophical change in that group as the baby boom bulge swells the ranks of the “seniors.”

Killed for painting on an abandoned building. We might question brutal police activity, but we never even question the disgusting reality of our entire system of laws which has evolved (devolved) to prioritize property and the ownership thereof over citizens’ rights and lives. An acclaimed artist. Painting. On an abandoned building. For that he deserves to die. And the laws will protect the cops, because ultimately they’re doing their job “protecting” that property.

Seriously, a lot of men need to take a lot of seats. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up.

One by one, the dominoes fall. Dr Gupta, you really believed the DEA? Really? Couldn’t be arsed to look into it yourself? Apology accepted for misleading people, but man, you’re either lazy or a very bad doctor.

Here, click on this and listen to an awesome Avett Bros song.

Rabbit Rabbit web-logging

Hey bros and ladie’s! Here is a thing I did where I kept track of stuff I looked at on the Internet or World Wide Web before noon today, August 1.

You can be assured this is *everything* I looked at and that I did not *not* include stuff that would make me look gross or stupid! Whee!

I added brief commentary if I had something witty to say. If not, click the link and read for yourself! Gosh!

I can’t help myself: I love it when they eat their own.

I know some good folks in MN, so I felt especially happy and proud watching the debates over this law earlier this year. And now here it is. Well done MN; hey NM, how about checking this out?

What is the google doodle called again? Goodle? Anyway, today’s made me look this lady up. Even though my public school education let me down sorely in terms of HERSTORY, it’s never too late to learn and appreciate!

Flavorwire makes me read its posts even though the site itself irritates me for some undefinable reason. Here’s a good example of why I have to go to Flavorwire.

The above recommended I follow Melissa Broder. So I did.

Notable for the weird stock photo of a foreign McDonalds (that they’ve used before. Lazy!!)
Business Insider on McD wages.

I’m always down for reading about how I’ll never do the exact right thing to be blissfully happy…and Oprah!

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — “God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.” (Seriously, read that. Click that link and read it.)


Ah, wait, what? A new Coen Bros joint? About 60s US folk music? With awesome folk music soundtrack? TAKE MY MONEY, NOW.

Biz about internet trolls and women.

I watch a lot of Jimmy Fallon show videos. Pretty much every day.
Ridic singing of Get Lucky

Ridic drunk Ron Weasley


I am t-t-t-terrible at self-care. For whatever reason, I can’t trust the process and I don’t trust myself. I don’t believe that I will ever be able to eat like a “normie” or eat intuitively or whatever the latest obsession I have with eating is, and I don’t believe I will ever be able to live in my body like a normie and move it and enjoy the benefits of fitness.

I get manically obsessed with self-regulation according to someone else’s rules, and I want desperately to implement systems to control my life and my appetites and my energy expenditures. These systems always come from completely outside myself (and therefore are pretty likely to fail, in my opinion) because I can’t trust what my betrayer of a body and weakling of a mind are telling me. I do not trust myself. And that’s worse than just not liking myself or whatever. I don’t believe in myself.

I’m trying to get to the root of this issue. Why don’t I trust myself? Why can’t I judge what’s the healing path vs the damaging one? Or, if I can, why do I choose damage over healing? I guess that last part has more to do with self-worth than anything.

But do I have some serious psychological trauma that is preventing me from becoming capable of self-care? Maybe. It’s a very frustrating place to be — I am capable of self-awareness to this extent, but am incapable of actually healing or growing beyond it. This is misery.

This miserable place is also a place of guilt and embarrassment because a. my life seems relatively ok by external measures and/or b. I don’t want to think others think know I’m a crazy mess, so I don’t ever talk about this sort of thing.

My long-suffering spouse gets the brunt of this mania most of the time. Which is unfair and leads to more guilty feelings for me.

I don’t even know where to start. I guess if I was giving myself advice, I’d say therapy. And therapy has, to some extent, been beneficial to me in the past. But recently, seeking therapy has been very… frustrating. Some therapists were simply not returning my inquiry phone calls or emails, or, when one finally did, she didn’t have any openings that would work for me at all. And it really felt like rejection and added to my low self-worth. So I kind of gave up, because even trying to get help was hurting my feelings.







Today my sister Rebecca posted this on her facebook. Thanks dude! It is inspiring!

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

Meet the new boss, same as……

That “boss” is a reference to me, because I’m sure I’m doing pretty much the same thing I always do, which is start some online project and then promptly forget about it!

I even forgot the name of this blog…..

ANYWAY, I’m not doing that this time, it’s just that I am super braindead by the time I get home these days. Part of it is feeling pressure and anxiety all day long every day to do this new job just perfectly. But that’s coming from me, so I need to shake that off.

After the first week, there was more of the same. The remaining stakeholders (those who haven’t received their funding commitments) are affectionately known as the Problem Children. They are the groups that are the most difficult to work with. It’s like trying to hold that homemade silly putty made from cornstarch and glue. Just when I think it’s in a nice tight blob and everyone knows what’s up and we’re all on the same page, things just sort of….droop away and collapse through my fingers.

But all in all, things are going well. Though I had a bad dream last night that the person who did this job officially before me (not my boss who was an interim solution) came back to NM to visit us. She would never do that in real life, so I think I’m ok, but in my dream I was all “oh shit!” and immediately looking for a place to hide. And that is because I didn’t want to face admitting that her failure wasn’t all her fault, that this job is kind of as crappy as she always made it out to be.

But that only spurs me on to do even better, to come to the end of this a shining golden hero of project coordination.

I Lived Through My First Week

It’s not like I have two little kids and a spouse that’s away all the time and am trying to go to nursing school……

But I lived!

It’s Friday, and I feel insanely accomplished. I was excited to get up and go to work every day this week. I don’t expect that to last, but it’s nice right now.

Testes One, Two

Checking to see if automagic works for twitter and tumblr.

Wednesday is hump day because it’s the hump in the middle of the week. Get it?

Today the stressful things were: an email to a stakeholder that requires delicacy and a cultural sensitivity that I’m not experienced with, yet. Some of our dealings are with Native American healthcare organizations and I’m dreadfully afraid of causing offense inadvertently.
More stress stuff: conference calls, issues with tax questions (issue: vendors will want to collect tax to cover their own regulatory charges, like what shows up on our phone bills. However, the rate has to be detailed and agreed to in the contracts, and no one wants to do that because the service agreements are covering 60months, and what if the FCC or other regulatory agencies raise the fees during that period? If the vendors can’t pass that along to the customer, they (the vendors) eat it. But if they don’t agree to a fixed rate, the amounts aren’t reimburseable, and the healthcare provider (stakeholder) eats it because the vendor will bill them for it. It’s a thorny issue that is not clear.

Every day this week I thank the Fates that it’s Spring Break. If I had to do these two jobs and schoolwork, I would choke myself.

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